DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I’ve 4 youngsters. We attempt to deal with them persistently, if not equally, relating to items.

Judith Martin 
The Red Tea Detox

However my in-laws have began being sporadic with items. They are going to bathe one baby with presents and do nothing for one more. The youngsters’ birthdays are shut collectively, so the distinction is fairly evident.

We instructed them each that what they wished to do for birthdays was as much as them, and we aren’t asking for items, however we do ask that no matter they do be typically constant throughout the youngsters. They mentioned they don’t should do something, and we should always simply admire no matter they do. They mentioned they had been offended that we even introduced it up.

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